I too had a Consensual Affair with Herman Cain

Dear Members of the Homer/Lockport Tea Party

It is at this time that I have to come clean on a “Consensual Affair” that I have been having with Herman Cain.   I know that Herman loves me because the Cain campaign has been sending me many unsolicited and compelling letters for months.  And in the interest of trying to preserve my virtue, I have saved every one of them, along with my cancelled checks, as proof of Herman’s unrelenting, deliberate quest to breed temptation in a vulnerable tea partier’s heart.  Herman’s astute, entrepreneurial prowess enabled him to detect my hyper-loathing of Obama and capitalize on my state of weakness.   Oh Herman, honey you had me at 9-9-9.

Like some many other woman before me, our affair centers on the “hope” that Herman Cain will be our next President and it’s consensual in the fact that Herman knows we all need a “change”.  And yes Herman’s wife Gloria Cain has known about us all along, but for the sake of the children she has turned a blind eye to our affair.  But before you go giving your hard earned capitalist money to Gloria Aldrich for an intervention; please consider giving a donation of $9, $99 or $999 to Homer/Lockport Tea Party so that you too may join me in my love affair with our country and help us defeat Obama in 2012.

Sincerely,

Vivienne Porter
Coordinator – Homer/Lockport Tea Party

The Homer/Lockport Tea Party is a Non-Profit Corporation.
Donations to the Homer/Lockport Tea Party are not tax-deductible.

 

 

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